
An interview with Carlos Xuma...
So Carlos, first a little introduction about how you got into this
business of helping guys meet women...
How long have you been doing this and how did you get into it?
I've been helping guys get more success with women for the last 7
years on the Internet.
Before that, I went through a long and hard journey of trying to
figure out how and why my dating life had gone so very wrong. I was
reading books on relationships, and all the stuff you find in the
bookstores, but they were all written by people who really weren't
getting very good results in their own lives. They talked about the
way things SHOULD be - logically. But, as we know, attraction is
anything but logical.
My big focus now is helping guys overcome their own self-limiting
beliefs and master both the INNER game of attraction (confidence,
self-esteem, etc.), as well as the skills - the OUTER game of
attraction.
I also teach guys about MOTIVATION - which is the fuel for all the
things a you will accomplish in your life.
This is what I call the "Triple-Threat": Motivation, Inner Game,
Outer Game. With all three of these in place, you're unstoppable.
What is the biggest mistake guys make when they go out to meet women?
In my opinion, the biggest mistake is how most guys THINK when they
go out. You see, all of the questions I get from guys have two
parts - the inner and the outer, and one is a matter of *beliefs*,
and the other is a matter of knowing the correct WHAT to do - the
ACTIONS.
First, when most guys go out, they are thinking about GETTING
women. This is the first big mistake. You're focused on your own
needs and wants and not enough on GIVING to other people. If you go
out with this "I want to get a woman" mentality, women will pick it
up. Even guys can sense a selfish agenda.
But you can have a healthy DESIRE for a woman that creates
something much more intense than just physical intimacy, and that
involves a change of attitude.
Ask yourself a simple question: "If she knew what my motives were,
could I blame her for her reaction?"
Guys don't realize that women want sex even MORE than they do. They
enjoy it more than we do, why wouldn't they? But they have a much
better ability to control that desire with protective instinct.
What in your opinion is one of the best places to meet women that a
lot guys don't know about?
Honestly, speed dating. I used to do these events all the time, and
I'd come away with a girlfriend every time I did one. Plus, they
are excellent places to hone and refine your social skills. I'd try
out new conversation and new questions, and I'd really get a feel
for what works with a woman.
You see, you have to work the numbers. 95% of the guys I talk to
are meeting LESS than 1 woman a week. Once you get past the
"approach anxiety" challenge - something that every guy has, and I
show you how to get past it - you see that it's all about meeting
enough women that you can make an educated choice as to the one you
create a relationship with.
The next best place for guys is online dating. Every guy knows
about this one, but not every guy is using it to his advantage - or
correctly. Most guys quit before they get the results they're
looking for, and it's simply a job of tweaking his approach. In my
opinion, you need to have more than 2 ways to meet women that
you're using ALL the time.
When you're training guys could you give a little run down of the
process in which take them through?
The first step is a complete reboot of their masculine operating
system. This is a clearing out of their old thoughts and mistaken
beliefs about women and social dynamics. Next up is a complete
reload of their operating system with Alpha Man OS. This is simply
re-educating a guy to what being a MAN in today's world really is.
Once you understand the changes in thinking that need to take
place, you then have to have a game plan for implementing them into
your life so that they become your natural way of acting and
thinking. Again, I'm teaching guys the big picture stuff here, not
the "how to get laid with the drunk bar chick at 2:00 AM" method.
The next step after that is to unlock your motivation.
More...