Raise her spirits

About one hour into the reception, the bridesmaids have consumed just enough champagne to be tipsy, and suffered through enough of the day to have lower than normal self-esteem. Any moment before this, they’re surveying the opposing male crowd like a hawk, seeking out anybody who might qualify as the aforementioned poacher. But once they’re a little less lucid, they’re always more open to a friendly and sympathetic companion. It’s here that they may regale you with a sad story, one that includes a lot of characters you don’t care about, but the main point always remains the same -- “it should’ve been her.” She’s happy for her friend -- “of course” -- but it’s just her “own damn bad luck” that she wasn’t the one walking down the aisle. Now, you may assume the best response to this would be to simply soothe and mollify, but that’s not the best solution. No, if you want to score at a wedding it’s far better to identify with her distress by offering up an equally sad story of your own, one that doesn’t have to be true. She may have a little alcohol in her, but she’ll still respond better to someone who understands her pain. Just nodding and sighing right along with her is too predictable.

Disclaimer: Not once will I ever condone the ultra-lame “technique” utilized by many wannabe Players that involves getting a woman drunk enough that she’ll sleep with a gardening tool. Anybody can do this, and it’s both disrespectful and pathetic. This tip does not involve pouring more champagne down a bridesmaid’s throat.

More tips on how to score at a wedding...

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Go solo -- no wingmen

As we’ve already established, women are always on the lookout for men hoping to make the easy play. And nothing screams foul at a wedding like a group of the groom’s buddies scanning the ladies with wolfish smiles and a predatory glint in their eyes. Even if you run into a friend at the wedding, don’t bother enlisting his help when approaching a selected target; the maneuver is painfully obvious. If you want to score at a wedding, this is one arena where you’ll need to maintain your independence and fly solo, primarily so you can mingle freely and, when the time comes, make the subtle pass. You’re a non-threatening wedding attendee who simply wants to talk and doesn’t want to sit by while everyone else dances. She likely doesn’t want to sit alone either, so again, it’s a matter of finding and focusing on similarities.

Location, location, location

Just as I wouldn’t advise sidling up to the lovely lady in the midst of the ceremony at the church, I also wouldn’t tell you to stick to the safety of friends and family at the reception. It’s really easy to get roped into boring conversations when you are trying to score at a wedding. As a gentleman, you must set aside an appropriate amount of time for saying hello to those essential reception-goers, but as a Player, you must also find time to roam the room. It’s more than likely that several of the female attendees are also looking to rid themselves of particularly mind-numbing company. However, beware of the women who decide to stick together throughout the course of the reception. They’re a tougher nut to crack than the gaggle of attractive chicks at the nightclub; in the latter location, most of the girls are definitely looking for a man. At a wedding, however, there’s the disheartening possibility that none of them are, which is why they’re sticking together. Just make sure you pick your spots and keep yourself free to move on a consistent basis.

Take advantage of daytime weddings

Sometimes, it can be difficult to establish a true-blue courting situation in the midst of a wedding. It simply isn’t the correct environment, and it may even be inappropriate to pursue heavy flirting when participating in a friend’s special day. Therefore, you should take advantage of one obvious fact: Most weddings and receptions take place in the middle of the day, which means the night still beckons. Rather than attempting to work quickly in a setting that isn’t always conducive to “hooking up,” perhaps it’s best to simply establish a rapport and offer up the possibility of an evening date. You have several things going for you. For instance, she probably doesn’t feel like being alone afterwards, and going out could be just the ticket to avoiding the post-wedding blahs. Furthermore, you two should have enough time to chat at the reception without suffering through overpowering music and other guys eyeing her from across the room. It’s not the ideal setting for an official Player approach, but it’s an excellent pre-setting.

Some final points on how to score at a wedding...

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Lend a helping hand

If you couldn’t guess, there’s always plenty to do when it comes to weddings. Therefore, even if you’re not directly involved in the planning and execution of the event, you can always offer to help out. You can elect yourself a designated driver for anyone who wants to drown their “damn-it-shoulda-been-me” woes, you can help the wedding party move chairs or tables around before the proceedings start, etc. Chances are, if you ask, they’ll definitely find something for you to do. Of course, the key here is to present this “nice guy” persona in plain view of the ladies because it will give you an acceptable launching platform for your scheduled reception endeavors. Obviously, you’re not an automatic saint just because you’ve offered to drive someone home, but when you’re a stranger, it can only help your image (and help your chances to score at a wedding). Besides the visual (seeing someone for the first time), we often forget that even the smallest acts convey pieces of information -- tiny details about us that contribute to the overall picture. In statistics, because you can’t normally poll the entire population, you take a sample. And a sample is exactly what you’re giving those dressed-up hotties by playing the “nice guy.”

i now pronounce you a player

You may be morally opposed to things like red carpets, rings and alters, but that doesn’t mean a wedding is a waste of time for a Player. It’s quite the opposite, in fact; it’s a great opportunity to score. A respectable gentleman doesn’t rely on alcohol consumption, as previously stated, and he certainly doesn’t take advantage of a vulnerable, easily taken and easily discarded individual. However, he can skirt close to those boundaries by being an appropriate companion for the day (one who both listens and participates), by being in the right place at the right time, and by being both respectful and courteous throughout both the ceremony and reception. There’s no trickery or deception in the Player’s game. Instead of taking advantage of women, he takes advantage of his surroundings, and in this case, he operates strictly on a basis of subtlety and passive charm. You don’t want to overplay your hand at a wedding as there is some restriction, but you’ve still got room to maneuver.